AFFIRMATIONS AND APHORISMS - a page of Jokes and Riddles, Humor and Wisdom by Kuder.

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Most recent additions to my list of affirmations and aphorisms...  

·         You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.

·         "The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

·         Common sense isn't very common.

·         "Tough times never last, but tough people do."   - Dr. Robert Schuller

·         I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

·         The key to surviving a stock market crash is liquidity. So I'm off to the bar.

·         An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; a pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.  ~ Sir Winston Churchill

·         Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.  ~ Thomas Edison

·         Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do. - Benjamin Franklin and Dale Carnegie

·         Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.  - Albert Einstein

The following ones are from my book...

Accept the things you can not change. Change the things you can. Know the difference.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

Plan your work and work your plan.

The road to success is paved with many failures.

A quitter never wins, and a winner never quits.

If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten.

SUCCESS isn't how far you got, but the distance you traveled from where you started.

Big opportunities come to those who make the most of small opportunities.

The man who makes the most of every minute becomes the man of the hour.

SUCCESS is when opportunity meets preparation.

SUCCESS is getting what you want. HAPPINESS is wanting what you get.

The problem with not having goals is that you may spend your entire life running up and down the field and never score.

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

A MEMO ON OFFICE EFFICIENCY

The objective of all dedicated employees should be to thoroughly analyze all situations, to anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, to have answers for all problems, and to move swiftly to solve any problem when called upon. However, when you are up to your ass in alligators, it is difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.

Losers ask: How little can I do to just get by? Winners ask: How much can I do to make darn sure I succeed?

When your income is exceeded by your outgo, your upkeep will be your downfall.

Luck is when opportunity meets preparation.

You'd scarce expect one of my age To speak in public on the stage; And if I chance to fall below Demosthenes or Cicero, Don't view me with a critic's eye, But pass my imperfections by. Large streams from little fountains flow, Tall oaks from little acorns grow.

David Everett (1769-1813)

Poverty is when large efforts produce small results. Wealth is when small efforts produce large results.

Plans get you into things, But you have got to WORK your way out.

Be the Best of Whatever you are:

If you can't be a pine on the top of the hill, Be a scrub in the valley- but be The best little scrub by the side of the rill, Be a bush, if you can't be a tree.

If you can't be a bush, be a bit of the grass, And some highway happier make, If you can't be a whale, then just be a bass, But be the liveliest bass in the lake!

If you can't be a highway, then just be a trail, If you can't be the sun, be a star; It isn't by the size that you win or you fail- Be the best of whatever you are!

You see things as they are and ask "Why?" I dream of things that never were- and ask, "Why not?"     George Bernard Shaw

Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.     Emerson

Competence, like beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder."     Dr. Laurence J. Peter

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, The courage to change the things that I can; And the wisdom to know the difference.     Reinhold Neibuhr

Eight Gifts That Do Not Cost A Cent

1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING... But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.

2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION... Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER... Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE... It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life.

5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT... A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOR... Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE... There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION... The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, really it's not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You.

Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed they make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND.

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